Sigh...

So I guess this relationship is over...even though it never even started.

Always happens, guess it's my fault then since it always is.  

FMFuckingL.

My Thoughts...
You know those days where you just don't give a fuck anymore? Well, I'm getting there. Just some things I need to get out of the way..
I hate how I look. I hate how 80% of the day I feel like I look ugly. I hate how I somehow built up this persona of me being this so called "hardcore bitch" that doesn't give a shit about anyone, no..I just have trust issues. I hate when I walk through the halls of my school and see these cute couples holding hands and enjoying each other and I don't have that because I am incapable of being in a relationship that will surpass a month and people know that yet they come to me for relationship advice. I hate how everyone doesn't want anything to do with me. I hate how I'm gullible enough to go out with someone that in the end hurt me even if he didn't mean that much to me or if it wasn't that big, it still hurt. I hate how people call me intimidating..truth is, I just don't know what to do. I hate how I hurt the one person who actually "loved" me and is now dating someone else that isn't as good as me. I hate how I hurt the people who liked me for me and yet I always end up pushing them away and in the end, regretting it later on. I hate how I can be easily taken advantage off, I know that I am but I don't do anything about it. The worst part, I hate myself because I know everything that goes on in my life yet I try to change myself for those people that will never understand me nor will I talk to them after I finish high school. Sometimes I wish I could disappear and be reincarnated into a bird or something so I can fly away from this place and forget everything I've regretted. Maybe then will I be able to enjoy myself...




I wish I could find someone that could tell me I look beautiful and mean it but this is reality and not a dream. Lets sleep and make the best out of the next days. 
"Only you can build yourself up, and with that, you can also tear yourself down.<3 " - Uyen Vu

Ugggh, what is wrong with me.

Wtfff, i'm crying right now? Wth....?! WHY AM I CRYING?! I guess listening to songs about my past triggered some memories and regrets? *SIIIGGGHH. I should stop, but for some reason, I don't want to. Well, I sure look like a mess right now. Oh well, make-up free face<33

When is it going to get coldeeeeer? D: Freaking Texas. Get to the fall/winter season already! ...Why am I listening to music on my iPhone instead of on my iTunes...?

I am looooooving this shirt. And hehe....you can see my tattoo XD! Not cute.(horrible quality.)

I don't know why people think I'm stupid.

Yeah, I can see through your BULLSHIT.

Stop lying to my fucking face. 

Not irrelevant to this but I like this song (:

"We Stitch These Wounds - Black Veil Brides"

Lyrics.

Tell me why.

So, you just started to actually talk to me all of a sudden, you ask me to hang out with you, we chill in your car and you start kissing me, all done on the same day in less then one hour. Tell me, why? What is the purpose of doing so? Was the reason you started to talk to me was because you wanted to lay me in bed? I ask you why, you answer with "I like you." No, no you don't like me. You've only started talking to me in two years. Where did this "crush" come from? It can't have just dropped from the sky nor you can just develop it out of the blue. While you kiss me, you touch me. Do you take me for a fucking idiot? I've been played before and you know what, I don't play that shit. I'm real and if you think you can just get me in bed like that, you're sadly mistaken. If you really actually want me then show it. Make it look like you actually care instead of just kissing me and bs-ing that it's real. No, I can tell you're playing games and I have news for you, I can play your game and twist it so you're my prey. Show that you care. Don't take me as a fool. So this is my question for you; "Is this all lust or is it a real crush?"

Not a big deal but still -__-

First day of junior/senior year.

WTF. Second time writing this. ARE YOU SERIOUSSS!? Whatever, school was annoying, scratch that, freshmans are annoying. They need to stop thinking they are the shit just because they finally got out of junior high and is now a high schooler. No shut up, you're only 13/14, sorry but you're not the shit. Stop standing in the hallways and acting like you own everything. Goodness, every generation, they just get squeakier and dumber. Oi, at least I'm graduating, yaay!(: Hmm, class was..alright, but then again it's only the first day soo, we'll see how things will go tomorrow! PAP Pre-cal was a bitch. I don't like the teacher..she's....a horrible teacher. Sigh, and I already have hw for her. FUCK, I forgot everything related to geometry and algebra. Ughh, I'm going to struggle. Oh well, I shall manage somehow >:D Photo journalism was....pretty fun. Got two of my good freinds in there! YEAH! But we talk alot...so we will probably be seperated by the teacher. Grr. Hmm, debate was fun surprisingly. I'll like it even though I can already tell I will not be liking some people in that class, sigh. But whatever, I have my best friend in it so score. Hmm today was a chill day, tomorrow starts the work as well as a chem test. Whoo. Well time to study and start on that stupid pre-cal hw. Uggh. At least where I live we have split days so I get two days to do homework for said classes, yess. :D I'm done, toodaloo!<3